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User talk:SalemtheCruel
Welcome Hi, welcome to Redwall Fan Fiction Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the ~Jewel of Malkariss~ page. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! -- Hollyfire53 (Talk) 21:11, October 21, 2010 Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 23:33, October 21, 2010 (UTC) Re:FF Well, it could be that people just aren't online right now. A major time for users to be on is 2:00-3:00pm Eastern time, or 7:30-9:00pm Eastern time. Users may not also have seen it yet; but they will. I shall review it, if you would like :) And I am glad you joined! We are grateful for all the users we have! Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 23:33, October 21, 2010 (UTC) Fanfic I'll look at it in the morning, it's 10:00 right now and I'm on my iTouch, which doesn't work well for editing. Unless Holly gets to it first I'll replace the bullets with the spacers I use for my fanfic. Ttyl--Rorc Talk Ee aye eeeh! 03:19, October 23, 2010 (UTC) If you want me to, I can go through your story and separate out the gigantic blocks of text. Oh, and if you have any questions you can ask me as well.--Rorc Talk Ee aye eeeh! 15:11, October 23, 2010 (UTC) It's fine, you deleted them. Would you like me to make it easier to read? Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 23:01, October 24, 2010 (UTC) Hey, I was reading you fanfic Jewel of Malkariss but I lost my place, I have some criticism that may help: After a creature talks, start a new paragraph, it will make longer and less confusing for your readers. Try to tell the reader whois speaking a little more, which will also make less confusing. I just notied that Rorc and Holly have the same criticism. Also one more thing, if you use my advice try not to over use said, try other words to use, if you can't think of any, find a thesaurus. This is what my writing teacher tells me to do, I hope I helped--Silverfalcon Pikehawk 15:43, October 25, 2010 (UTC) I'm glad :) I see... so Jewel and Slagar ARE in love! Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 10:40, October 26, 2010 (UTC) Yes, I love that song :) Linkin Park is a great band... they rock! (pun unintended) Have you listened to New Divide, Waiting for the End, Hit the Floor, Numb, What I've Done, Leave Out All The Rest, or Shadow of the Day? (that's a lot!) Those are my favorite songs by Linkin Park :-) Hey, btw? The next time you want a page deleted for good, place this at the top: and an admin will see it and delete the page for sure. What you did with Like father, Like son was simply blanking it ;) If you put the template on it ( ), then I'll erase it permanently from the Wiki. Thanks! -Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 18:43, November 7, 2010 (UTC) Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally overdue congrats, but congrats on JOM being the featured FF! Took me longer than normal to update it, so JOM got a lot of time up there... have you read the new featured, The Rise of Freedom? It's long, but one of my favorites by our good friend Skip ;-) Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 18:47, November 7, 2010 (UTC) I shall :) Have you read my fanfics? I have one completed, Bluestripe the Warrior, and two that are halfway done, Hollyfire's Tale, a sort-of biography, and The Shieldmaiden, a fun fanfic for my friend, Shieldmaiden :) I think you'd like them... would you mind reading them, when you have time? :) Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 19:06, November 7, 2010 (UTC) Reply I have read all you have on your fanfics. I have read every single bit of every fanfic (except for three) on this Wiki. I may make an account, and I probably will make more once I'm done with Sisters, but they aren't. (BTW, I had the plot before the title, I know its kinda lame) Happy Birthday Well Happy Birthday! Great songs! And happy belated birthday! Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 00:12, November 20, 2010 (UTC) An idea Sounds interesting... going crazy, is he? Hey, just an idea. If you'd like more critics, you can go to our mother Wiki, the Redwall Wiki. You automatically have an account on there, and you can see your blank userpage here, and your blogs here. The leading admin there, LordTBT, has different rules about fanfiction, you have to have them on a blog setup and you can't have character pages, but more people will see your stories :) Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 00:27, November 20, 2010 (UTC) That's quite the cast there. Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 13:30, November 21, 2010 (UTC) No, you can't XD I'm locking you up for dreaming. Never heard that song... -ponders- Hey, can you check out a new fanfic I've just started? FOR YOU!! It's called The Love War. Thanks! Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 14:08, November 21, 2010 (UTC) Thank you! I'm glad! Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 14:15, November 21, 2010 (UTC) Liberties are fine. Indeed, RIP to MJ. Have you been keeping up with The Love War (changed the title to The Bridge)? =D I updated! Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 17:57, November 21, 2010 (UTC) That's a good idea... Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 20:41, November 21, 2010 (UTC) Um... well, (first of all, I love her name!) if I used her, I would probably give her a knife or something to replace the flintlock... not out of offense to you, her creator, but I just don't like guns. I probably wouldn't have her come to the island, but later on in the story, two characters run away from the island to Salamandastron, where another war is being fought. I'll have Siri there! Thanks for your help! Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 11:35, November 22, 2010 (UTC) That's really good... I may change one or two things, but otherwise... thanks a lot! Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 20:13, November 22, 2010 (UTC) It is, and thank YOU for the praise :) Update! Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 20:36, November 22, 2010 (UTC) I'm glad you like it! Thanks for letting me have Siri to work with! Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 23:50, November 22, 2010 (UTC) Well... wasn't where I was going, but not a bad idea :) It could work out... once again, thanks! Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 21:22, November 23, 2010 (UTC) Update! Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 23:13, November 23, 2010 (UTC) I'm updating way faster than normal... I usually have a week in between to plan, so it isn't as good as I'd hoped... it'll also be way shorter than normal... Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 23:22, November 23, 2010 (UTC) I'm on it! -goes to update- Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 23:37, November 23, 2010 (UTC) Thanks... I shall look at it in a sec :) Happy American Thanksgiving indeed... Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 21:14, November 27, 2010 (UTC) It wasn't really an update, lol. Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 22:59, November 28, 2010 (UTC) Update :) Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 22:19, November 29, 2010 (UTC) I shall, and I'm glad you liked it :) Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 00:48, November 30, 2010 (UTC) No, you don't XD I just wondered because Slagar named one of them... important update on The Bridge :) Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 01:18, November 30, 2010 (UTC) Thanks :) Good update. Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 11:34, November 30, 2010 (UTC) I updated, too. :) Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 00:14, December 1, 2010 (UTC) Thanks, I will :) One thing, in Son of the Scourge. I thought Redtail was an otter and Bluddclaw was a rat/stoat? How could they be brothers? (I still think Redtail + Beth would be good ;) ) Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 00:26, December 1, 2010 (UTC) Why thank you! I don't think it's that great but...Would you like to be updated on it? I like Jewels of Makariss from what I've read. KIU! Yeah, I hope Holly gets back soon-Segalia Riverstorm, Archer Ottermaid Warrioress Eph. 6:10 13:00, December 17, 2010 (UTC) Okay. You don't have to update right away. You're much better than me though. I hardly ever update. It's probably 'cause I'm writing two other stories and all my creative juices go into one of them. It's sad...-Segalia Riverstorm, Archer Ottermaid Warrioress Eph. 6:10 18:14, December 26, 2010 (UTC) Re:PROLOGUE My initial thoughts: Enter when a new beast speaks (I know I keep saying this but it makes it much easier to read so more people will read it.) And its long. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. Now...Badrang survived! Rose died and Martin did all that for nothing! Voodoo-strange...Gwen is strange and she may have helped kill Rose! Very strange...At first I thought that Apex and Gwen may like each other but then she made that evil voodoo doll...Gwen and Apex died! So now Badrang probably wants revenge and is helped by voodoo. Strange but interesting. Do you think it's helpful that in my comments and sorta repeat what happened then add a few opinions? Well...looks interesting!-Segalia Riverstorm, Archer Ottermaid Warrioress Eph. 6:10 15:32, December 28, 2010 (UTC) Ahh! I had it all typed out then it wouldn't send and now I have to redo it! Anyways...so that sorta explains the complex relationship between Tramun and Badrang. Is he being nightmared because he didn't fulfull his promise? Maybe he's seeking revenge on Tramun. I've noticed you sometimes put a speaking term on both sides of dialogue. IE She whirled around in her chair. "Hello" She spoke It's sorta repetitive. Pretty good-Segalia Riverstorm, Archer Ottermaid Warrioress Eph. 6:10 10:07, December 29, 2010 (UTC) I added a small bit to Chapter 8. I also tried to fix the spacing but I don't know if it worked. Please comment-Segalia Riverstorm, Archer Ottermaid Warrioress Eph. 6:10 10:02, January 4, 2011 (UTC) Thanks. I just would like to enter the dialogue but for some reason I can't.-Segalia Riverstorm, Archer Ottermaid Warrioress Eph. 6:10 11:52, January 4, 2011 (UTC) Re:PS: I think I looked at it...pretty interesting. Lots of goodbeasts and badbeasts mixed That's fitting in a funny sort of way!-Segalia Riverstorm, Archer Ottermaid Warrioress Eph. 6:10 12:03, January 4, 2011 (UTC) I'm willing to read some of this stuff for you but I think what you really want/need is a real beta. Just FYI. Now for Badrang's return...:Enter when a new beast speaks. At the beginning I think you mean Armand but you put Apex. It's a bit unclear at that part. So Tramun's there...that'll be interesting...and now he's dead. Badrang and him always had a strange relationship. As for Lainarch the Scourge, I'm assuming his son is supposed to be THE Cluny the Scourge. I don't know if that's right with the timeline. I have a feeling Armand was threatening to do some sort of voodoo thing on him. In a few places there are grammar and tenses mistakes but it's pretty good. -Segalia Riverstorm, Archer Ottermaid Warrioress Eph. 6:10 09:07, January 15, 2011 (UTC) Awesome, go Scourge!! (back now) Update soon... and I love Bohemian Rhapsody!! One of my faves!! Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 02:55, January 16, 2011 (UTC) Update Bridge. Will finish later. Have to go now. ~Holly I will. I'm glad Segalia is betaing you, I was more or less just editing. A beta is helpful... Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 15:16, January 16, 2011 (UTC) Wow! Congrats on finishing JOM! I haven't finished Chap. 4 yet, don't worry =) My life is busy right now, as I've got my friend's dad's funeral coming up, but I'll update =) `Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 20:30, January 17, 2011 (UTC) Update The Bridge =) Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 20:59, January 17, 2011 (UTC) Will.i.am? Wow... can't imagine him in a movie, psh! Sure, I'll review them both =) Honestly, I haven't finished reading JOM yet, but I will.... Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 21:40, January 18, 2011 (UTC) Aww, I hate suspense =/ Sorta-reviewed on SOTS Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 01:48, January 19, 2011 (UTC) Sure, will read it ^.^ Idk, never heard either of those songs =P Updated! Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 02:17, January 19, 2011 (UTC) Yeah, will totally review it =) Glad you like TB! Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 21:16, January 19, 2011 (UTC) Eh, that ain't ranting. Ranting's when yer mad. I liked when Jewel met Cyrus and Bella. Sure, I'll review now. Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 23:05, January 24, 2011 (UTC) Hmm, that sounds interesting... you probably want to finish Sale's Fellowship first, though =) Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 22:50, January 25, 2011 (UTC) Hey, what'd'ya think of the new layout? I'm not so sure about it... Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 23:59, January 27, 2011 (UTC) I'm sorry but as I haven't really been reading JoM I think you'd rather have someone else who has been reading it beta it for you. As I am also doing another betaing job I don't have a lot of time. Maybe you should ask Skipper Rorc. I will however "beta" this chapter of Badrang's return. Good description. Malwyze cowers quickly. Remember to split up the dialogue. The fight was a bit strange but good. The brothers don't die easily. Badrang's attacking Redwall Abbey! Overall it was good though it was a bit confusing at times. Good job!-Segalia Riverstorm, Archer Ottermaid Warrioress Eph. 6:10 13:43, January 29, 2011 (UTC) Took meh a while, sorry. Well, the Redwall Wiki is based mainly just for information on the Redwall books, so you have to put the FF on a blog. That's really his only rule, but tell me after you've posted on your blog, and I'll tell some of my friends that I know =D Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 22:08, January 31, 2011 (UTC) Another of LordTBT's rules- it has to be "legit Redwall". Like, no guns, no timetravel, no magical powers, etc. Sorry =P He'll delete it otherwise. Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 22:19, January 31, 2011 (UTC) As in, you have an idea but want my thoughts or you really aren't sure? In either case I'm happy to help. He survives so he probably wants revenge on Badrang. Maybe during a crucial part of Badrang's attack on Redwall Malwyze will show up and interfere, not necessarily with the Redwallers but definitely not with Badrang. Or he could try and assassinate him. Or he could meet a pretty young stoat who nurses him back to health and they marry, raise a family and live in peace for the rest of their days. He could become a grey character. Or you could combine some of these ideas. I hope this helps!-Segalia Riverstorm, Archer Ottermaid Warrioress Eph. 6:10 16:43, February 1, 2011 (UTC) Good! I'm happy to help-Segalia Riverstorm, Archer Ottermaid Warrioress Eph. 6:10 14:29, February 2, 2011 (UTC) Okay then. You're welcome! And I updated on my fanfic! End of Chapter 8! Please comment-Segalia Riverstorm, Archer Ottermaid Warrioress Eph. 6:10 19:43, February 2, 2011 (UTC) My computer wasn't let me edit so I couldn't get back to you earlier (about your comment on my fanfic). Thanks! I'm glad it was a good update. When I first wrote the story it was supposed to be randomly suspended in time. Then I had need of a specific character and it is now a prequel to TSQ (the Sable Quean). I think it works. I would have had more repeated chars if it had been meant originally to be a prequel to TSQ and therefore a sequel to Doomwyte but I didn't. Thanks again!-Segalia Riverstorm, Archer Ottermaid Warrioress Eph. 6:10 15:24, February 6, 2011 (UTC) Well, I have a lot of otters in my fanfic already...is Blossom one of your chars? Which one? I don't really know where SRV is going. Maybe when I sorta outline it I'll figure it out. I don't know if she can be in it or not. If she was would I know her secrets and/or would someone in the story figure them out? I could try to put her in my story. I just don't know yet, sorry.-Segalia Riverstorm, Archer Ottermaid Warrioress Eph. 6:10 14:04, February 8, 2011 (UTC) S's F and Laney It depends on how strange it gets. :) I'm sure it'll be fine. You're welcome. Well I never said she couldn't be in it. I just said I needed to know a bit more about her and SRV. She may just turn up. -Segalia Riverstorm, Archer Ottermaid Warrioress Eph. 6:10 15:39, February 9, 2011 (UTC) THose guys actually seem to have a better chance of getting in. Grovelum needs reinforcements and his old friend shows up. I think I could work them in. And Rori and Carma may have something. These two will be very interesting additions. I may take a bit of creative liscense but I'll be sure to ask you questions. Thanks!-Segalia Riverstorm, Archer Ottermaid Warrioress Eph. 6:10 15:37, February 10, 2011 (UTC) No problem No problem. And about the ideas... Well, again, I would like to see quite some of that owl, Blacktalon. Maybe a new character or two, but again, your only on the first chapter, so I guess that would apply. :P Good luck on that story. THEY STOLE MAH COOKIES! 00:13, February 12, 2011 (UTC) :P Ok. THEY STOLE MAH COOKIES! 00:19, February 12, 2011 (UTC) :P Excellent idea! ^^ THEY STOLE MAH COOKIES! 02:59, February 13, 2011 (UTC) :Yet another good idea, I'm going to play around with that one. THEY STOLE MAH COOKIES! 17:35, February 13, 2011 (UTC) :I added the update. I'm going to be doing an update or two every day, just to let you know. THEY STOLE MAH COOKIES! 18:20, February 13, 2011 (UTC) :Alright. THEY STOLE MAH COOKIES! 18:45, February 13, 2011 (UTC) :Ok. :TO THE P.S. Again, ok. :D Sorry for taking so long Thank ye mate, for welcoming me to this wiki. I checked yore fanfic, and I like it so far. I wonder, would ye like to check my Slagar fanfic?. Hope we can be friends, chat later :). Nitram the WarriorLet's be friends! :) 16:18, February 18, 2011 (UTC) Would you like to? Would ye like to be updated in me fanfic, mate? Nitram the WarriorLet's be friends! :) 21:32, February 18, 2011 (UTC) Check out my profile on the normal redwall wiki. At the bottom is the Update list, inside a tab. Just put yore signature in there. PS: Couldn't, put I'll check it later. :) Nitram the WarriorLet's be friends! :) 22:43, February 18, 2011 (UTC) ? Great! Have you put it on his page? Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 22:48, February 20, 2011 (UTC) Take our Polls, please =) Holly ThornbladeThe War to End All Wars- Have You Joined? 23:24, February 20, 2011 (UTC) Idea for Bloodhunt I have an idea for Bloodhunt, if your still working on that. I wanted to give some thanks. So, if Leo meets a new character (you can name him/her) and befriends him/her? :P THEY STOLE MAH COOKIES! 15:20, March 11, 2011 (UTC) Excellent idea. Go ahead and use it. :P THEY STOLE MAH COOKIES! 22:49, March 11, 2011 (UTC)